so, how do i put india and what it means to me in words...well i can't. but, as a suggestion from an amazing woman named elizabeth cupp and the continuing questions about it from others i will try. my passion for india started first semester in a class called the india of gandhi, taught by mark norris. we started reading a book called the indian way by john koller about indian religion and philosophy. that was my love at first read. the depth of intellect and the mystery of the india's diverse philosophies just blew my mind. then i began to enjoy learning about indian everything (even the history!!!). i even started checking out indian history books from the library and that class, as well as the teacher, became my favorite. it was almost as if my day started each monday, wednesday, and friday the moment that class began...and tuesdays and thursdays were sad days without it. i completely fell in love with the culture and people of india. that made the last day of class heart breaking...i even started tearing up as i left. but, my love for india didn't stop that day. i continued to entertain thoughts about india and continued reading books about it. and decided that i wanted to go there someday, but the only program i found wasn't available until i was a junior. but, as second semester started i began to feel more and more unsettled being a grace (and about my whole life). and finally one night in a crazy late night talk with erin i told her that i wasn't going to come back to grace next year. i'd been so afraid to say it aloud, to take a risk and do something outside of what i had previously planned for my life even though i'd been feeling so unsettled about it. so, at like 3 in the morning i went out into 3rd floor alpha lobby in search of my future. and of course i used the internet as my fortune teller. i was trying to find some outdoorsy/challenging/liberal kind of college or program and i searched through close to a dozen. i was on the second or third page of my google search (which everyone knows that usually only the first page is any good, but i was desperate) and for some reason something about a program to india was in the mix. so, i clicked on it and discovered the most amazing program in the world...and my future. it's called leapnow and it was founded by an awesome guy named sam bull. i looked through the information and got so excited i almost screamed, but i restrained myself because it was early and everyone would think we were having yet another fire drill or something). i couldn't believe how perfect this program sounded...like everything i could ever want in a program to india. so, i took a few months of being scared to push myself out of my box, self-doubt, lots of questions and phone calls to the program, and 6 essays before i overnighted my application. i got a call a few weeks later saying that they had reviewed my app and wanted me to take it to the next step...an in-person interview. so, i flew out to california on the soonest and cheapest flight i could get (an incredible experience in itself) and i had lunch at a vietnamese restaurant with the founder of the program and the internship specialist. it was so much fun and i really enjoyed how open and informal it was. sam and tyler were great and i felt pretty good about the interview (even though i didn't feel like i expressed myself that well). they said that someone would contact me in a week or so and i flew back to chicago. so, i spent a week or so nervous and freaking out that i wouldn't get it until i received an email a few days ago saying that i was accepted into the program. i immediately started bawling (similar to the moment of seeing my name next to cinderella in the cast list email, but a million times better). it was around 10pm and i ran into my dad's room and woke him up to tell him. now i realize how crazy that was, but at the time i couldn't contain myself. i then preceded to call my mother, erin, curtis, derek, andy, em, and bethany. i was hysterical. then after all of the calls i opened the acceptance packet pdf file and began to read through it. it started to scare me a little because of the mention of the quantity of applicants in competition for the few spots left and that the deposit was the only way to secure my spot in the program. then i scrolled down to see the amount of the deposit as $7,700. my excitement was then crushed to smitherines. i began to realize that the biggest dream of my life (that was so close to coming true) might die because i don't have money and i knew my parents didn't either. that night i couldn't fall asleep (except for about an hour and a half) from worrying about how to get the deposit. i had to get up at 4am the next morning for work (being a driver escort for my dad who is a truck driver who pulls mobile homes) and i was going to be gone all week. i didn't make it back in time yesterday to go to the bank, but i did go today to see about getting a loan. so, i went in and they said that they don't do student loans and so any loan i got from them i'd have to make payments on and i obviously can't do that. so, i searched online for lenders....mostly at the website of my previous lender (of only a few thousand for grace). and it seemed that everything needed enrollment in college first (which i'm not technically enrolled yet). so, tomorrow i'm going to call the finaid office of the college i'll be getting credits through to try to figure out something. i called the program and explained the situation and they were amazingly understanding. but, i still need to get the money in as soon as possible or else someone else that has money will take my spot. and the forecast of getting $7,700 fast isn't looking too bright. i would cut off my arm if it cost $7,700...but it doesn't so i'm screwed. my dream might be crushed into a million pieces over the fact the my family isn't rich (which i'm actually glad that they aren't) and can't hand me large sums of money. i should get federal aid, but that is all through college finaid offices (which i would need to be enrolled to). i'm just lost as to what to do and wishing that i had a money tree temporarily. i'm even thinking about writing oprah..that's the level of my desperation. this is the dream i'd be losing:
PROGRAM #1: INDIA
1st semester: traveling with a group of 8
4 days: we fly in and out of new delhi. at the start of the program we spend a couple of days getting oriented, doing some sightseeing, and sleep a lot to overcome 12 hours of jet lag. at the end of the program, we use delhi as a base for an optional visit to the taj mahal.
2 weeks: homestays in the tibetan city of mcleod ganj (aka, dharamsala). during these weeks students will have opportunities to study the hindi or tibetan languages, work at a primary school, attend daily talks from tibetan lamas, do internships in the arts, work with local craftspeople, do social service work, or they may choose to focus in other areas of interest. past students have studied indian drumming, tibetan cooking, thangka painting, etc.
1 week: yoga retreat on the banks of the ganges in the himalayan foothills. this formal yoga course gives the student a solid foundation in yoga philosophy, asana practice (poses), purification techniques, yogic breathing (pranayama), meditation and chanting
1 week: trek in the indian himalayas. we hike from village to village in places that have very little contact with westerners
2 weeks: volunteer in rishikesh at a unique orphanage. students will split their 2 weeks, spending one week at the orphanage on the banks of the ganges volunteering with the children, and traveling for their second week to a mountain center about 3 hours north of rishikesh where they will embark on a construction project and be given the opportunity to learn cranial sacral and reiki.
2 weeks: homestays in the great city of varanasi (aka benares). during these weeks students will have opportunities to continue studying hindi langauage, work at an orphanage, volunteer at the mother theresa home for the destitute, continue spiritual practices, do internships in the arts, work with local craftspeople, do social service work, or they may choose to focus in other areas of interest. past students have studied indian drumming, sitar, done silk painting, etc.
1 week: attend an introduction to tibetan buddhism course in bodhgaya, the location where siddhartha (the buddha) achieved enlightenment. students will have the opportunity to learn tibetan meditation practices and attend tibetan ceremonies and rituals

the second semester is a solo internship of my choosing to anywhere in the world. i'm probably choose to stay in india working with the poor.

there are 4 retreats at the program's headquarters in calistoga, california (an hour north of san francisco). we start each day at 7:30am with an hour of physical movement and contemplative practice such as meditation or yoga. after breakfast, we spend 2 and a half hours in the morning and occasionally 2 hours in the evenings of the leapyear living skills curriculum. after lunch we do 3 hours of physical work (construction, landscaping, gardening). participants take turns doing all the cooking and baking for the group with fresh and organic foods, and also do most cleaning and maintenance. together we create a hgih level of conscious community, and a vigorous daily rhythm of practice, work, learning, free time, and play.

aug. 28-start of retreat #1
sept 5-travel to india:start of group semester
nov.12-return to u.s.-start of retreat #2
nov. 20-travel home for winter break
jan. 11-start of retreat #3
jan. 26,27-rite of passage weekend with parents
jan. 30-start of individual internships
april 17-start of final retreat
april 29-end of program:travel home

i would get 24 credits through new college of california in these areas:
1st semester:
-hindi language: study of spoken hindi in varanasi
-india area studies: 11 weeks of travel, homestays, internships, service work, and spiritual study in india. required ethnology projects, and independent study. daily reading and writing.
-religions of asia: study buddhism, hinduism, sikhism in india. learn spiritual practices and live in intentional communities with intensive focus on hatha yoga, karma yoga, and meditation
-human development: daily journal writing, intro to meditation, yoga, and other introspective practices
2nd semester:
-independent study using the world as a classroom: 12 week internship in a country of your choice, doing work or study of your choice. document work with readings, ethnology projects, daily reading, and writing.
-career development: resume-writing, career exploration, how to make college work for you, interviewing, written and oral self-expression, and individual presentations. learn practical skills in construction, gardening, landscaping, cooking, and baking
-human development: learn the skills needed to live in integrity, develop emotional literacy, make gracful life transitions, learn to be at home in your own body

$28,500 total (not including airfares, medical insurance, and personal spending money) i'm working all this summer to save up for the stuff not included in the price

this money is nothing for what india and the retreats would give me, but i still need it to be able to go